Americanism

What have I been doing with my mind, so as to idly sit by and not think for myself? I have been allowing others to make decisions for me and refusing to take the time to learn necessary information so as to knowledgably contribute to society. I refuse to let this happen anymore. After this 2012 election, the first election I was alive for where I could vote, I decided not. I decided to NOT take advantage of my rights. I decided to NOT thrive in the overarching pride of Americans freedom. I decided to swallow the excuse of ignorance; that I did not know enough about the candidates in order to feel comfortable claiming my opinion. I was, in fact, opinionless, and proudly flaunted that. What shallow short sighted girl am I to think that my contribution is worthless? Why would there be novels of history proving life giving sagas and brow beaten heroes, if my place is truly insignificant. I feel I have done a disservice to my country and myself.

I refuse to allow this ignorance, this idleness to poison my mind further. Last night, after the election was over and Obama took the win, I watched his victory speech. I will formulate my own opinion about our president. I will become informed about his policies. I will be faithful to the freedom my fellow countrymen have suffered, served and suffocated for. Freedom is dreamed of, sought after and fought for but its unbound ropes remain uninheritable. 

Americanism: a liberating, invigorating, intimidating choice. I choose to be an American.

Unnatural Disaster

A natural disaster results in unnatural living. 

Naturally, the “Jerseyan” thrives inside his spinning world, rotating from job to car to computer, never encountering the face of the spinning planet next door. But what is the need? The Jerseyan is sufficient without community. Neighborhoods are full of individuals who ignore the sight of Mr. Jones taking out his trash and Susie Smith’s hello kitty backpack walking home from school at 3:05. The Neighbor, in fact, does not exist until his needs pry his unfriendly rear end out of his three story house.

Neighborhood, therefore, contradicts the very lifestyle of the Jerseyan. We live in “Individualhood”: A self absorbed group of independently focused people. Jersey then is a compilation of self sufficient “individualhoods”. We don’t consider having the Lyttle family over for coffee and dessert, to babysit Mrs. Kormack’s 3 year old torment would require copious amounts of alcohol. But after I mix the dry ingredients for my chocolate chip cookies and find I’m short one egg, it takes about three quick seconds for me to ring Mrs. Lollie’s doorbell. In fact, the swift amount of time it takes to cross the street proves all I need to forget Lollie’s kindness and return to my bustling kitchen. With achieving my own goals at the center of my spinning world, I can only hope that the wave across the street is enough to lend me two cups of sugar when I run short next apple pie.

Community, the ingredient lost on Jersey citizens in the recipe for social prosperity becomes unanimously potent in the face of disaster. The Neighbor does not exist without need, and the oil of need surfaces to the top of disaster’s flood. 

Naturally, we bake, compute, drive, and work independently, with our own agendas and priorities governing every move we make. Naturally we dwell in tragedy of isolation. Our remote lifestyle is our self imposed natural disaster; the flood of narcissism that tears down the walls of friendship, ruins the possession of joy and robs the home of social treasures, leaving loneliness to weep beside his destructed dwelling. 

Be a part of unnatural reconstruction. 

"IF"

Is Jacobs blessing of earthly descendents a result of faith? Where God extends his blessing of faith onto those he knows will accept it, and reveals himself to them, they in turn “see” the stairway to heaven. You see, the stairs always exist, it’s just a matter of who can see them. So with the blessing of sight, Jacob “has faith”. 

Read Genesis 28:10-22

How does he practice faith in this moment? 

We see that after he wakes up he pours oil on his pillow rock and renames the place where God met him, Bethel. He is impacted in his dream so significantly that he has to outwardly represent what happened. Further, he is spurred to move. Jacob claims, “If God will be with me and will watch over me on this journey I am taking and will give me food to eat and clothes to wear so that I return safely to my father’s household, then the Lord will be my God and this stone that I have set up as a pillar will be God’s house.” (Genesis 28)

Now, Jacob had not set out before after being inspired in the presence of the Lord. But his skeptic remark seems to prove his humanity. Yes, he acted in faith by moving on what God called him to, but why did he say “IF”? God blatantly promises to Jacob that he will “watch over him wherever he goes, and bring him back to this land. I will not leave him until I have done what I have promised him.” But Jacob doesn’t whole heartedly abandon his net, at least not without some question. 

Maybe Jacob isn’t testing God when he says “if”. Maybe it’s not some kind of ultimatum. Like, “I will only follow you God if you make sure no one steals this robe, oh, and I’m not sure if you’re aware but I like to eat three meals a day. You got that?” 

Jacob understood God’s promise, it was clear. God even drives home is fidelity when he says “I will not leave you until I have done what I have promised”. Two promises in one sentence? How could Jacob doubt? 

When he said “IF God will be with me” what he means is, “by all means”. As if to say, God just promised to protect me, and if God is protecting me then, heck yeah, I will do whatever he wants. 

“If God is for us who can be against us?”

Responding with Jacob like faith requires a wild, get-up-and-go type attitude. I mean, the man slept on a rock and got up the next day ready to build God’s kingdom. Jacob-like faith is one that looks at the promises that God makes, and says “Hey, if this is true, then I’m trusting in it”. One that sees those brilliant stairs and shouts “how awesome is this place!” One that sees the stairs and yearns for their hidden glory to be disclosed to the blind.

Jacobs reaction illustrates an ideal human faith; a faith of action, movement, “sold-outedness”, self sacrificing, full reliance on God. 

See the stairs and be inspired.

The Needle

Thread this tapestry, thread true and tether

Lace and linen, private cloth united

With the piercing laceration of a pious needle

Stitch afore made, completing in to one

Sensual prick stitch, scarlet red thread

Pierced virgin cloth alike

Seaming a purple robe to gather our bodies

In one

 

Tearing a flesh seam,

Divorcing our matrimony of flesh

Plucked with the sieze of your hand

Torn sudden, scarred and strewn

In scarlet ribbons on the floor

Lay sweat-stained tomb linens

And my cold naked body beside

 

 

(Inspiration from John Donne The Flea)

Season in the Night

Your frozen brow drips icicles

Chilling down my neck

Your blue glass stare, a fetter

Enchants me upward to flurry skies

The fountain trickles of your lip

Camilla petals that graze my nose

Crying exquisite tender strength,

Royal garlands down my breast

Beneath June’s humid moon

I steal hoarded rain from summer clouds

Gasping in the salty flood,

Of our organic cultivation

My forest path crowds with yellow boughs

Ten leaves conforming to my side

I gather brown with your release

Greedily hoard crisp foliage and surrender to frosty slumber.

Polish Ban

June and empty pockets

Led my ready hands to work

My summer months spent at a camp

Housekeeping, the thrilling perk

Across the globe they traveled

Squinting beneath American sun

The camera as their ready eye

Ten polish students trained by my arm

A sponge to clean the counter

A stick that sweeps, not “brooms”

The dream of a lovely American wife

Explaining grammar, enjoying the moon

On Wednesday Radek changed sheets

I kneeled while scrubbing the tub

The daily battle to complete maid service before one PM

His challenging inquiries chaffed me to the nub

Camp’s policy on alcohol

Unacceptable, forbidden fruit

His face upturned in a sour bite

Pondering delicious surge of the prohibited brute

On Sunday travel reigned abroad

Of news and guilty feet

Refusal to obey a simple restriction

Due to appetite carried over seas

Local liquor purchase under dim stars

For thirsty girls deemed legal youth

Bringing Polish customs and disregard

Under the sky of red white and blue

Four hours and three packed suitcases later

I was robbed a proper goodbye